Before you read this, spell BOSS backwards
Arrive late and leave early
The boss does this all the time. But don’t you do it, or it will piss him off. However, he will continue to do it, and find every way possible to rub it in and throw it in your face.
Call in sick
Even if you’ve never called in sick before, this will still piss off your boss. When you return to work, he’ll pump you with questions: What were your symptoms? What was the diagnosis? Did you take anything? How do you feel now? Your boss will suddenly think he’s a freaking Doctor.
Talking or texting on the job
This is a legitimate complaint. Workers should not be texting on the job. But this is beside the point. The boss is always looking for something to piss him off. It’s his nature to whine, bitch and complain, and the worker is his scapegoat.
Wanting to advance and better yourself
The boss doesn’t like this. I’ve never met a boss who didn’t have a big ego. He doesn’t want you to advance. If the boss is a department manager in a large Company, he’ll think you are after his job. If your boss is the owner of the Company, he’ll be scared to death that you’ll start your own business, and put him out of business. Bosses don’t like competition. The thought of your being his competitor will make him sick to his stomach.
Not understanding what you’re trying to say
The boss thinks he’s smarter than you. If you talk to him about something, and he doesn’t understand exactly what you’re saying, he’ll assume you are the dumb one, and he is the smart one. For this reason, he doesn’t want to understand what you’re saying because it’s a blow to his ego. In reality, you may be the smart one and the boss is probably a dumb ass.
Bad table manners
Once again, this is just something else for the boss to bitch about. I once had a boss who stayed on my back the whole time. Finally, I said to him, “Please tell me what I’m doing wrong, and I’ll correct it.” Two days later, he told me. He said that my table manners caused the problem, and I’d never been to lunch with the SOB. If your boss takes you to lunch, don’t put salt on your food without tasting it. He’ll think you’re a wasteful person, and threaten to fire you on the spot. But he won’t because he has no backbone. If the same thing happens on a job interview, you will not be hired. This is a fact.
If you’re a professional, such as, an attorney or accountant, this is understandable. But if your boss has a beard, he has no right to bitch about you having facial hair. But again, he will bitch about it. I’ve seen a situation in which the boss didn’t allow women to wear perfume, or men to wear cologne. There was a woman in the office who claimed she was allergic to it. But tough s__t. And, by the way, the boss wore cologne, and the bitch never sneezed.
Being an unreliable worker
The boss doesn’t care how unreliable you are. The more unreliable you are, the lesser threat you are to him. He could just as easily fire you. But he won’t, simply because, he just wants to have something else to bitch about.
Talking about personal problems
The boss doesn’t mind talking about his personal problems to you. But if you talk about your personal problems to him, it will piss him off. Likewise, when he talks about his problems to you, you damn well better listen or else.
Arguing with him
If your boss owns the Company, he signs your check. Don’t try to argue with him. It doesn’t matter if you’re wrong or right. You’ll never win because he won’t let you. If the boss is a department manager, and you think you are right, you can go over his head. It might help, but I doubt it. However, there is one more thing that pisses your boss off, that you might be able to do something about.
Nothing threatens a boss more than knowing a worker has some dirt on him. This will also piss him off more than any of these other things. Department managers with larger Companies often make deals and do shady things behind the owner’s back, for their own personal gain and at the expense of the Company. In this case, your boss probably cares less about the Company than you do. If he knows you are aware of his extracurricular activities, it will threaten him and really piss him off. But you have the goods on him, and there’s nothing he can do about it. In other words, he’s S O L. If the boss is the owner of the Company, there’s really not much you can do, unless the boss is involved in criminal activities. You could go to the authorities, but you won’t have a job because they will close his business.