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Posted in Health & Fitness, on August 5th, 2016

12 interesting facts about farts and questions people ask

pull-my fingerYou can research as many facts about farts on the internet as you want, but you’ll read a bunch of scientific junk that will confuse you. For example, some say that it is the nitrogen and carbon dioxide gas in the intestines that make a fart stink. Forget this BS. I’m going to give you some fart facts, in layman’s terms.

1. Why do farts stink?

This is the number one question. Forget about that gas in the intestines crap. That’s not what makes a fart stink. Nothing stinks more than a piece of feces (aka, s__t). Before the air comes out of the bottom, it bypasses the feces, giving the air a nice fragrant aroma after it leaves the body.

2. Why do some farts smell worse than others?

If you haven’t taken a dump in a while, there’s a whole lot of feces down there. The result is, more feces to bypass. This gives the fart the strongest scent possible. On the other hand, if you take a dump, you should be cleaned out. Then, if you fart, there’s not as much feces to bypass. This results in a more pleasant smelling fart.

3. Why are some people proud to fart in public, while some are not?

Much of this depends on personal preference, while some depends on nerve. I know many people who have admitted that they’re proud of their farts.

It also depends on the profession. Professional men, such as, Attorneys and Doctors are about 50 / 50. You’re not likely to see a Catholic priest fart in public. You also won’t see a public figure fart. I can’t imagine President Obama laying a big fart before making a speech and saying, “Excuse me.” Do you think you would see Pope Francis fart before his annual Christmas midnight mass at St. Peter’s Basilica?

4. Why do some farts smell like the foods you have just eaten

Some foods are rough and durable, and the stomach can’t grind them up. They enter the intestines the same way they went into your mouth. Every time I eat steak, my farts smell like steak, with an added aroma.

5. Why are people able to smell their own farts?

This is because they have no choice. They’ve been farting so long, and smelling their own farts that they’re immune to them.

6. What causes a fart to make noise?

Sometimes the air has to work its way around more feces, causing a massive explosion in the butt hole. The noise has to do with where ever the feces is located? If you eat healthy, and eat food that is easily digestible, your farts won’t be as loud.

7. Is it true that the silent farts are more deadly?

This is not necessarily true. This is psychological. When you hear someone let out a loud fart, you have been alerted, and have time to get away. With silent farts, you don’t know they’re coming, and the result is – SURPRISE !

I have two Boston Terriers. They fart all the time. I never hear them, but I sure as hell can smell them.

8. When you fart in the shower, why does it stink so bad?

This is because you are boxed in. There’s no where for the fart to go.

9. Why do under water farts stink so bad?

Regular farts lose their potency because they have to go through two layers of clothing. Under water farts come out in one big bubble, causing maximum potency.

10. What food makes you fart the most?

It’s not just beans. Beans don’t really make me fart as much as other foods. Many believe that it’s sodas, fruits and vegetables.

From my experience, the food that makes me fart the most is, fried chicken livers. They not only make me fart. They make me fart loud and long. The last time I had fried chicken livers, I played Beethoven’s 5th Symphony.

11. What causes the worst smelling fart possible?

There’s no question. Drink a few Budweiser’s, and eat an few pickled eggs, and you will fart like crazy. Furthermore, you’ll have a hard time smelling your own fart.

12. Why would a Company advertise and sell a product like Beano?

Beano is a product that stops gas before it starts. Why? I like having a little gas. I never said that farting is an unpleasant experience. Personally, I like to fart.

beano

 

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