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The Country, April 13th, 2017

Fly the UNFRIENDLY Skies of United

If you think what United Airlines did was bad, …

United Air Lines

It could have been worse

United Air Lines

Fly the UNFRIENDLY Skies of UNITED

Just Plain Funny, April 13th, 2017

Flown United lately? Here’s a good attorney to call

This is not an advertisement, but …

United-Mike Slocumb

If you ever fly United, have this guy’s website and phone number. He’s a good attorney.

Here’s one of Mike’s commercials:

Odd, Strange & Funny, April 4th, 2017

There is only one reason you’d want to make a will

willThe only reason you would want to make a Last Will and Testament is simple. It only has to do with C Y A.

This means:

Cover Your Ass-ets.

 

Just Plain Funny, April 4th, 2017

When you die, what will you have written on your headstone?

headstoneWhen a person dies, it is customary to have the person’s name engraved on the headstone.

Suppose the deceased decides to to have his last words engraved on the headstone instead of his name.

If you decide to do this, what would be on your headstone?

Sports, March 29th, 2017

Chicago – The Ultimate Town

chicagoI love Chicago. I’ve been there twice and can’t wait to go again

Chicago has everything – Art, music, culture, you name it. Chicago is a great town. It is a great college town. If I have to name something I like best about Chicago, it has to be the food. You can eat in a gourmet restaurant every night, and never eat in the same place twice.

It is also a great sports town – one of the best. Until recently, you could argue this point by saying, “But their sports teams haven’t won any championships lately.” That has never mattered. Philadelphia, Detroit and Boston are also great sports towns. Win or lose, sports in these towns is not just entertainment for its people. It’s a religion.

As far as not winning any championships lately, the Cubs have changed all of that. They’ve always been the darling of all professional sports, and not just baseball. For years, everyone loved the Cubs. Now, everyone loves the Cubs even more.

Over the years, the fans of all the Chicago teams supported them, even when they lost. The Cubs were proof of this.

The Chicago Cubs are an inspiration to anyone struggling with life. They showed that patience will be rewarded.

Source: BuzzFeed
Sports, March 29th, 2017

Chicago Cubs most Profitable Team in Baseball

chicago cubsTo the Chicago Cubs – WELL DONE!

About four years ago, the Chicago Tribune named the Chicago Cubs as the most profitable team in baseball.

This came as no surprise. Everyone loves the Cubs. Over the years, they’ve gotten a lot of exposure, since their games have been on cable and satellite for as long as anyone wants to remember.

At one time, the Cubs were so loved because people felt sorry for them. Now, people feel sorry for the teams that have to play them.

The Chicago Cubs – The biggest sports story of the decade – Go Cubs!

Sports, March 28th, 2017

Kentucky Wildcats a national power? More like a national thief

Kentucky Wildcats

Did the Kentucky Wildcats steal Tennessee’s logo?

You’d think that a team like the Kentucky Wildcats, a perennial national power in basketball, would at least have enough imagination to be original. There aren’t many fans of the Tennessee Volunteers who are happy about their rival doing this.

That’s the way it is with some of these so-called national powers. Alabama has been stealing ideas from Auburn for years. They stole the idea of the famous Tiger Walk, and called it the Elephant Walk. Auburn was the first college to have car tags, and others followed, including Alabama. Auburn stole an idea from Alabama in 2010. They won a national championship, and Alabama didn’t like it. WOW! If this isn’t the ultimate double standard, I don’t know what is.

 

But where did the Tennessee Volunteers get the checkerboard idea?

Without question, the checkerboard logo belongs to the Tennessee Volunteers. But if you want to get technical, you can form an argument that they stole the idea from Legion Field in Birmingham, Alabama. Once known as the Football Capital of the South, the stadium hosted some home games for Alabama and Auburn when they played the high profile teams, because their on-campus stadiums were not large enough. Birmingham also kept the stadium available on the back burner, for that NFL team that they never got.

Legion Field introduced the checkboard end zones in the early 60’s, and Tennessee followed in 1964. The Volunteers resumed the famous end zones in 1989, and have had them ever since. But the checkerboard logo has become such a part of Tennessee, that it’s safe to say that the famous logo belongs to the Volunteers.

As for the Kentucky Wildcats, give up the checkboard logo. Do something more original, like winning a championship. You seem to be having problems doing this lately.

Legion FieldTennessee Volunteers

Crazy Internet, March 22nd, 2017

Is is OK to LIKE your own Facebook Page? Did Trump vote for himself?

facebook pageOf course it is. What’s the point of going to all the trouble to create a Facebook Page if you’re not going to like it? It’s yours. You better like it, otherwise, you’re not playing with a full deck.

Let me ask another question. If a guy is running for President, isn’t  he going to vote for himself? My two points are,

Don’t run for President as a Republican and vote for the Democrat.

Don’t go to the trouble of creating a Facebook Fan Page if you’re not going to like the damn thing.

 

Relationships, March 22nd, 2017

How would you feel if your 14-year-old daughter got pregnant

pregnantEmail from a Merjeo reader:

The first thing I did was shake my head, and then shouted, “Girl, are you crazy!” Then, I told her I love her, and that nothing she could do will ever change that. I also reminded her that I’m not just pissed. I’m passed pissed.

Then, I reminded her that she’s going to be in for a rude awakening. When born, the baby will be mine, not hers, and I will adopt it myself.  She won’t have custody regardless.

Finally, I’ll hunt down the father, and politely explain to him that for the next 18 years, his paycheck is mine, or he’ll go to jail. At first, I thought about killing him and hiding the body, but I don’t want to go to prison. I have a kid to raise. I’d rather make him wish he were dead, which is exactly what I intend to do. For the next 18 years, I own him. His ass is mine!


Response from Merjeo:

Calm down. There’s a solution to this problem.

Find her a future husband. Find a good man you know, like and trust. Since she’s only 14, you have time on your side. And don’t rule out the father. Sit down with him and have a friendly discussion. He may not be a gad guy. He just screwed up. She may give you a hard time and say something like, “Daddy, you have no right to interfere with my life!

Your response to this should be, “BULL SHIT! You’ve tried it your way and you’ve messed up. Now, we’ll try it my way!

Take the father’s paycheck. He is responsible.

The child is what’s most important. This way, the child can grow up in a healthy family environment. Who knows? Your daughter may turn out to be a good mother.

Let's Do Business, March 22nd, 2017

How good are you at Rolling the Dice ?

rolling the diceRolling the Dice – Here are the rules

Every time you roll the dice you get $3 million.

If the dice lands on double sixes, you will go to jail for 30 years, but you still get the $3 million.

Would you play? Is so, how many times would you roll?

Here’s some alternatives

Negotiate! Don’t negotiate money. Negotiate years. Ask for 10 years jail time. If you’re in your twenties or even your thirties, you’ll still be young when you get out, and you are set for the rest of your life. And just think about the interest you will earn while you are in jail. Also, consider that you might get lucky and never land on double sixes. If so, how many times would you roll?

If you can’t get the years down, don’t roll, unless you are over the age of 70. At least you will spend the rest of your life with someone else taking care of you, and your family will be set for life.

If you can’t get the money up and the years down, consider playing, but on one condition. You can use your own dice.

Finally, Don’t play at all, which is my best advice. The House Always Wins!

Crazy Internet, March 22nd, 2017

Have you ever wondered why people don’t read spam email?

spam-email