When you call Customer Service, it’s because you’re pissed. After calling them, you’re more pissed.
This happens all the time, but more often with cable or satellite TV Companies.
For some strange reason, the TV likes to go on the brink at least twice a day. Most Companies offer a package deal, with the TV, phone and internet in one plan. Oh, that’s great. If one goes, they all go. It’s like being cut off from the world.
It goes out. Now you have to call Customer Service. But how? You phone is out too. Oh, I forgot. You probably have a smart phone. The phone is smarter than you. Otherwise, this would be the only phone you have.
When you call customer service under these circumstances, you are already pissed, because their product sucks. If you use the same company I once used, calling them to fix the problem is a nightmare. They don’t want to talk to you, which makes you even more pissed. So this is what you have to go through every time you call them.
12 Ways Customer Service pisses you off
1) A recorded voice says, “Welcome to Name of Cable Company.”
2) You hear a recording of a woman speaking Spanish. Now, some are asking if you speak French.
3) Then, you wait, try to be patient, and then you hear the first voice ask the question, “I see you’re calling from, 123-456-7890. Is that the number listed on your Name of Cable Company account?”
4) Remember, you are calling them because there is a problem, which means, your phone is not working. If you don’t have a cell phone, then you are SOL. If this is the case, and you made it this far, you probably had to get in your car and go to the nearest pay phone, if you were lucky enough to find one, and call them. Then, as you are getting more pissed by the minute, the voice says, “Please say or enter the area code and the phone number listed on your account.”
5) You enter the number, but nothing happens. If you enter the pound sign (#), you will get a response. But the voice never told you to enter the damn pound sign. At this point, you are about to reach your maximum level of being pissed.
6) Now, you can enter the number and finally get help, so you think. But then, you will hear the voice say, “Stop texting while driving. Take the pledge at itcanwait.com.” Now, you are beyond pissed. Granted, it is not a good idea to text while driving, but this is not the time or place to give me a lecture on safety.
7) The voice then says, “Briefly tell me what the problem is.” By this time you have forgotten the problem. All you can say is, “My service is out.”
8) Then, the voice will give you a list of options, and none of them will match the problem you have. So you say, “Let me speak to someone, please.”
9) The voice says, “Sorry I did not get that.” Again, you will be given another list of options.
11) You will go through this maze of asking to speak to someone, and getting a list of options about 3 more times. Finally, the voice will say, “Wait, I’ll get someone.” The sound of the recorded voice is of a woman who is pissed. But who is she to get pissed. I’m the one who’s pissed, thanks to her.
12) This is the kicker. When you finally get through to someone, 90 per cent of the time, the agent will say, “Sorry, I can’t help you.”
After you go through this process, you want to tell them what they can do, and where they can go, but you don’t take the risk. Otherwise, they will cut off your service, and you will be worse off than you were before.
Usually, when the voice tells me to “Stop Texting and Driving”, I usually say, “Mind Your Own Business”.
One last piece of advice – Don’t text while crossing the street. The guy driving by might be texting while driving.