A person who emotionally abuses you does it for one reason, and one reason only. He is screwed up. He literally hates himself, and tries to get you to do the same thing, which is hate yourself. But you know better, don’t you? This should tell you, right away, that this jerk-off doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Misery loves company. Once you realize this, you will stop his emotional abuse once and for all.
Here are some ways he will come after you, and how you can stop it right away.
What he does: He will criticize you and put you down in front of others. He’ll tell you that you are always wrong and he’s always right. He’ll ignore you when you try to talk to him.
What you should do: Don’t complain. Otherwise, he will just say, “I was just joking. You’re too sensitive.” What a horse’s ass! When he criticizes the way you are, just say, “You damned right! That’s the way I am. I love who I am and wouldn’t have it any other way.” If there are other people around, don’t be embarrassed. They will admire and respect you for standing up to him. They will agree with me – he’s a horse’s ass.
When he tells you that you are wrong and he is right, just smile and say, “You are one hundred percent right. Man, you are the greatest.” This will blow his mind. He won’t be able to say another word.
If he ignores you, so what? Who cares? In summary, agree with him, do it with a smile, and this will stop his humiliation. He does not like to be challenged. Challenge him, in a very tactful way, and this will stop it.
What someone did: When I was younger, someone constantly tried to put me on a guild trip. Every time I used the word “I” in a sentence, he would say, “I, I, I. That’s all you say. You are the most egotistical person I know. All you care about is your own G__ D_____ self!”
What I did: The first few times this happened, I wanted to go somewhere and hide. Then, I wised up. The last time he said this to me, I said, “You damned right! I am egotistical. I, I, I, I! Get used to it because you’ll be hearing it from now on. I’m going to keep saying “I” because I love who I am. If you don’t, that’s your problem.” He never criticized me for saying “I” again.
Someone who emotionally abuses you feels the need to think he is big stuff, while deep down, he know he’s not jack s__t. Just smile at him. Agree with him. Let him know that you are happy and content with who and what you are. This takes away his domination and control over you. He would not have had this in the first place if you hadn’t allowed it. Now, you’ve called his bluff. You’ve challenged him. You’ve turned the tables. You’ve humiliated him. And he does not like it. Too damned bad! Do you think he’ll come after you again and let you humiliate him again? Not a chance!
He’s not going to hit you. He’s nothing but talk. His only weapon is his big mouth. You’ve taken this away from him. If he comes after you again, he’s got balls. But don’t worry. He won’t. You’ve ended it. Great job.
The most important thing is, DON’T let him or anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You know who you are, and you know better.
I just saved you about $500. That’s what a psychiatrist would have charged you for an hour of his time. I’m no psychiatrist, but I have been an abusee. There’s no substitute for experience. But let’s get something straight. You’re not the one who needs a psychiatrist. He is.