If anyone wants to use my smart phone, forget it. I’m not loaning it to anyone. I learned a lesson the hard way.
A few years before the smart phone, as we now know it, came out on the market, I’d just purchased a new cell phone from Sprint. I went to a sandwich shop, which happened to be owned by a friend of mine. When he saw my phone, he said, “Hey, that’s nice! Mind if I try it out?” Being a nice guy then, I said, “Sure, go ahead.”
All of a sudden, he disappeared for 30 minutes. I didn’t think he’d steal my phone, because I knew him well enough to know he wasn’t a thief. But what he did convinced me he didn’t have a brain in his head.
When he finally came back, I asked, “Where have you been?” He said, “I had to take a shit.”
I asked, “With my phone? You’ve got to be kidding me!” Then he said, “Don’t worry, I washed my hands. I set your phone on the lavatory basin before wiping my ass.” I said, “Yeah, but you used it while doing your business. You could have dropped it in the toilet.” Then he said, “That’s true, but I was lucky.”
How did I know he was telling me the truth. He could have dropped it in the toilet. He might have been playing with himself while using it. I didn’t want to take any chances. The next day, I purchased a new smart phone.
This was one of those things that was funny, but for some reason, I didn’t feel like laughing. I think you know the reason.