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Posted in Just Plain Funny, on May 1st, 2015

What to do in a public restroom with NO LOCK

public-restroomMost people don’t feel comfortable using a public restroom with no lock on the door. They don’t take too  kindly of someone coming in and seeing their business. What can you do if there’s no lock?

How to use a public restroom with no lock

First, you could keep your back to the door, hope no one comes in and go for it. This is not comfortable. You’re so worried about someone coming in on you, that you can’t pee all of a sudden.

If the toilet or urinal is close enough to the door, you can hold the door closed with your foot while you pee. This is a little risky. If someone tries to come in, you might pee all over yourself.

If you have something with you, like a shopping bag, you can put the bag on the floor behind the door hoping this will prevent someone from just walking in. I don’t particularly like this idea. I don’t want pee on my bag, and there’s probably pee on the floor.

You can tell an employee that you have to pee, and ask him to watch the door for you while you go. This is not good, because he’ll know your business, and he’ll probably think you’re crazy.

While you’e peeing, you can shout over and over again, “This bathroom is in use. Stay the hell out until I finish.”

Instead of using the public bathroom, you can go behind the building and let it rip. But if a cop sees you, you’re SOL.

As a last resort, you can hold it until you get home.

The best thing you can do is just do your business, and don’t worry about it. When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. Whoever would see you wouldn’t care anyway. You have nothing he hasn’t seen. He’s got one too.

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