Notice I said was successful. My loving wife was taken from me six years ago by lung cancer. But if we were to live a hundred more years (which wasn’t likely), then we would have been together for a hundred more years. There were basically two simple reasons our marriage was so successful.
To have a happy marriage, be a good listener
I may not be the best marriage counselor in the world. In fact, I’m not even a marriage counselor at all. However, I was a darn good husband for many years. Therefore, it’s accurate to say that I know what I’m talking about.
No matter how successful your marriage, there will be times when you and your spouse don’t agree on something. That certainly happened in our marriage occasionally. I never tried to sway my wife into changing her thinking to my way. If there was a situation that was about to get a little heated, I didn’t say anything, but just smiled. When my wife saw this, she smiled, and asked, “Why are you smiling?” Immediately, I said, “I’m with you all the way. I got what I wanted on October 21.” Incidentally, this is the date we were married. Every time this happened, there was an inner peace between the two of us.
This may seem a little asinine, but allow me to clarify. When two people are married, they must think of each other as the one most important thing in each other’s lives. Therefore, little disagreements that mean nothing become less important.
Listen to what your spouse has to say about his or her opinion. Respect them, and understand where they are coming from. One thing that breaks up so many marriages is two people trying to argue with each other at the same time, with no one listening to what the other has to say.
An ego has no place in a happy marriage
This works both ways. Men are labeled as the ones with the inflated ego’s, while women are labeled as gossipers. There’s no truth to this. Many women have ego’s that are twenty times bigger than that of a man. Likewise, many men gossip more than a woman could possibly gossip.
Disagreements and arguments in a marriage are caused by ego’s. While I was with my loving wife. I refused to have an ego. There were many time when I thought I was right, and she was wrong, but I kept it to myself. It wasn’t that important to me. The only thing that was important was my wife, who meant more to me than anything in this world.
Many times, I said to my wife, “I have only one reason for breathing.” She smiled and said, “No, you have three! Me and the Girls.” Then I would say, “Oh yes, that’s right!”
If you’re in a marriage, get rid of the ego. An ego means nothing, and will get you into big trouble. Your spouse is more important than some stupid ego.