Merjeo by Charlie

Funny, Wild, Crazy Stories

Home » 2014 » February

Paula Deen Trying to Make a Comeback

paula-deenGood for You, Girl! I Hope You Make It!

I am with Paula Deen all the way. America needs her. And I don’t mind saying, I miss her a lot.

Think about the circumstances surrounding her, hopefully, temporary fall from fame. She was asked, on the spot, if she had ever used the “N Word”. Under the pressure, she responded in the first way that came to her mind. Many people would have responded this way. Many people also have big mouths that are attached to small brains. I don’t think this applies to Paula.

If an intelligent person is ever asked the question that Paula was asked, there is a correct way to respond without getting into trouble. Let’s assume a person is on the witness stand in court, and an attorney asks, “Have you ever used the N Word?”

This is the right way to respond to this question:”

“There are many N Words in the English vocabulary. Nice is an N Word. Neat is and N Word. So are Nifty, Near, Nostalgic, Nevada, North, etc. Son, you have to be more specific.”

 If the attorney is a real horse’s ass, he will say:

“You know what word I am talking about.”

Then you say:

“No, I don’t know what word you are talking about. If you don’t ask me a straight question, I can’t give you a straight answer. I can only answer questions that are clear and specific. I don’t know for sure what word you are thinking about. I can only answer you, based on what you ask me.”

I don’t believe there is a judge in the world who would instruct you to answer the question. No one can tell any one else what they are, or are not thinking. Not even a court of law can tell you that you understand a question when the question is not very clear. Also, no attorney in the world would ask the specific question. Otherwise, it’s his ass.

TO PAULA: Good Luck Girl. I’m with you all the way.

Marajuana Now Legal in State of Colorado

marijuanaMarajuana has been legalized in the State of Colorado.

It is still against the law to bring marijuana to the ski slope. I wonder why. What harm could it do? It seems like this is the time and place when you really need a joint. Those guys go down that ski slope very fast. Before long, it is all over. At least if they are high, they can enjoy their trip down the ski slope.

If you do down the ski slope high off a joint, the trip down would seem like three hours.

Americans Need Different Athletes in Winter Olympics

Americans Don’t Do Very Good in the Winter Olympics

Some of the American speed skaters in the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics are blaming a flaw in the Mach 39 speed skating suit developed by Under Armour & Lockheed Martin for their bad results. This is just an excuse. Excuses are like ass holes. Every one has one. The fact is, the American athletes in this year’s Winter Olympics are not that good. This is not unusual. The Americans usually get their butts kicked in the Winter Olympics every four years.

The Americans are doing OK in the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics. The total medal count is among the leaders. However, they just can’t seem to get the gold like they can in the Summer Olympics. Americans dominate the Summer Olympics. They can’t seem to dominate the Winter Olympics. The reason for this is obvious and quite clear.

The American Athletes in the Olympics

I’m not going to beat around the bush on this. I’ll get right to the point.

I have three questions. How many American black athletes are competing in the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics? How many black Athletes compete in the Summer Olympics? Why do the Americans dominate the Summer Olympics, but get their butts kicked in the Winter Olympics?

The first two questions answered the last question. Face the fact. The best athletes in the world are black. They always have been, and they always will be. They have the stamina, durability and the passion for any sport in which they participate. But, for some reason, the black athletes don’t like to participate in winter sports. If they did, they would win, hands down.

Black Athletes Are the All Time Greatest in Their Sports

If you don’t believe this, then let’s take a look at how the black athletes have ruled the sports world over the years.

Olympic Games

There have been many great American athletes in the Olympics. Two have stood out much more than the others.

jesse-owens

 

Jesse Owens

Jesse Owens was the dominant figure in the Berlin 1936 Summer Olympics. During those games, he achieved international fame as a track star. He won gold medals in the 100 meters, the 200 meters, the long jump and the 4 by 100 meter relay. His accomplishments during the Berlin 1936 games made him a standard among athletes that many still uphold to the present day. In addition to his performance on the track, Jesse Owens showed a tremendous amount of courage when confronted by the ruthless dictator, Adolf Hitler.

 

 

 

The Original Dream Team

Do you recall the history of the American basketball teams in the Summer Olympics? For years, the Americans dominated in basketball. Then, the rest of the world seemed to catch up with them, at least, temporarily. It was then that the Americans assembled the team that was known as the Original Dream Team. Charles Barkley, who was one of the stars of this team, said that this was the greatest team ever, in the history of all sports. Sir Charles, you would definitely not get any argument from me. This team started five Hall of Famers. When they needed a break, the head coach, Chuck Daly just put in five more Hall of Famers. This team had twelve members. Eight were black.

carl-lewis

 

Carl Lewis

Carl Lewis dominated the track and field venue in the Summer Olympics from 1984 to 1996. He didn’t just win medals. He won gold medals. At one time, he held the record for most gold medals won in the Olympics. During this reign, he was mentioned in the same sentence with Jesse Owens. There is no question that Carl Lewis and Jesse Owens were the two greatest track and field athletes ever.

 

 

Football

jim-brown

 

 

Although Football is not an Olympic sport, it has produced some of the all time greatest athletes. Walter Payton could have been considered the greatest. In fact, ex CBS broadcaster, John Madden, publicly said on the air that he was the greatest who ever played the game. Many would consider Barry Sanders as the greatest. But there is one athlete who stands out above the rest. He was the greatest who ever wore a football uniform. His name is Jim Brown. He is the former great running back of the Cleveland Browns.

 

 

 

Baseball

Many people think Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player. This is BS. All he could do was hit home runs. He couldn’t run or field worth a damn.

The greatest baseball player is very hard to pick. But if I were to try, I would have to go with three players who were all equally as good.

Hank Aaron and Willie Mays were almost identical in what they accomplished. They were so much alike. Not only could they hit home runs. They could do every thing else. There were two differences in the two. First, Aaron played with ease. He made it look easy. Mays played with intensity. When catching a fly, Willie would time it perfect, making it look dramatic. Aaron would be standing under the ball waiting for it. The other difference was the number of home runs. Willie would have hit as many as Aaron if he had not played in wind swept Candlestick Park. Aaron played in the old Atlanta Stadium, also known as The Launching Pad.

Another can be added to this list. Do you remember Roberto Clementi? He was one of the greatest. He would have been the greatest if his life had not been tragically cut short.

hank-aaronwillie-mays

Sorry I don’t have a picture of Roberto Clementi. I could not find one that was not under copyright. I would have posted a picture of him on a baseball card, but my brother sold it for $8,000 a few years ago.

Basketball

My opinion is, Bill Russell was the greatest basketball player. ESPN, however, named Michael Jordan as, not only the greatest basketball player of all time, but as the greatest athlete of all time, period. I will not argue with the World Wide Leader in Sports.

michael-jordan

Hockey

The greatest hockey player was Wayne Gretzky. But he was white. I have already established the fact that black athletes do not participate in winter sports. It’s a good thing they don’t. Otherwise, someone else would be the greatest hockey player of all time. So, forget hockey. This is a sport in the Winter Olympics. For what I am trying to establish, hockey does not count.

 

There you have it.

These are the greatest athletes of all time. So, if you are wondering why the Americans always get their asses kicked in the Winter Olympics, I ask you again.

How many American black athletes are competing in the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics?

What do the greatest athletes above all have in common?

I rest my case.

Owner of Chinese Serves Cockroaches, and then Tries to Kill Customer

chinese-restaurantChinese Restaurant has Crawling Food

The owner of Good Friend Chinese and Seafood Restaurant, in the Western section of Birmingham, Alabama, fired shots at a customer.

The customer who was lucky to get out of there alive complained because he found a cockroach in the food. The owner of this restaurant, Chun Hin Ching, is being charged with attempted murder. The mystery is, the number of counts for which he will be charged. This is not the first time someone has complained about crawling chow mein and chop suey. There is no telling what else he puts in the food.

It comes to no surprise that concerned citizens have been picketing the restaurant since the incident occurred.

If you ever go to Birmingham, and decide to eat at this restaurant, take precautions, and eat at your own risk.

If the food doesn’t kill you, the owner sure as hell will.