Merjeo by Charlie

Funny, Wild, Crazy Stories

Home » 2015 » December

Your stool is Green. What does this mean?


Here at Merjeo, I try to post interesting things that are funny, entertaining, and head scratching, not necessarily in this order.

I try to keep things as clean as possible. I’m getting ready to talk about a topic that’s a little gross, and distasteful. I’ll try to make it as clean as I can.

Colon Cancer – No. 1 Cancer for men

While breast cancer is the leading cancer among women, colon cancer is the leading among men. I’m not saying that women don’t get colon cancer. They do. But breast cancer occurs more, and men don’t have to worry about breast cancer.

So don’t worry, Caitlyn Jenner. You’re safe. You may think you’re a woman, but I’d be very surprised if you get breast cancer.

But let’s get serious. A routine visit to a Proctologist every other year is a very smart thing to do, for both men and women. In case familiar with a Proctologist, it’s a butt doctor. He or she will perform routine tests and ask you to provide specimen, which is no fun. Then, the doctor will tell you to look at your stool every time you have a bowel movement.

Enough of this. I assume you know that your stool is your poop. So now, I can get on with my story.

Why my stool was green

Two weeks ago, I went to that private room in my house to take care of business, and noticed that my stool was green.

Experts will tell you this is caused from bile. It takes some time for the bile to degrade and turn brown in the intestine. If the time it takes is short, the stool remains green colored. This is why diarrhea is often green. Green stools may be a normal.

It can also be caused by eating green vegetables, especially spinach, collard greens and turnip greens.

I didn’t worry about it, and just forgot about it. A few days later, I had a windfall. I received a large amount of money at one time.

If you have a bowel movement, and your stool is green, don’t call your Doctor. Call your investment adviser.

Santa’s Reindeer wish you a Merry Christmas

Someone emailed this video to me 15 years ago. I lost it, and finally found it. I just had to share it with you. It’s so funny.

8 reasons Trump is right about those damn Camel Jockeys


People are quick to judge other people. Donald Trump has received a tremendous amount of criticism since he publicly stated that Muslims should be banned from this Country. I agree with Mr. Trump. Get rid of every one of those camel jockeys. I have another name for them, but like I said in the last post, I don’t use the N Word. But I’ll give you a hint. The first of two words to describe them is Sand.

If you’ve interacted with those characters, you’d understand where Donald Trump is coming from. I have interacted with them and done business with them. I’ve never met one who wasn’t a blasted nightmare. The Asian Americans, Mexicans, Puerto Ricon’s and Afro Americans are all cool dudes, but these people suck. In all honesty, I believe the Government doesn’t want them here. Unfortunately, I believe we have a Commander and Chief who is one of them, and Donald Trump is aware of this.

6 reasons Muslims (Camel Jockeys) should be banned from this Country

Doing business, and performing a service for them is a nightmare.

If you have one as a customer or client, you’re going to earn every dime you make. They’ll see to it.

If you have an appointment to meet with one at 9:00AM, you’d better be there at 8:45AM, or you’ll be late. You’ll never hear the end of it.

No matter how good a service you perform for them, it’s never good enough. They will try to make you do it over and over again, and in their minds, you’ll never get it right.

If you both agree on what service is to be performed for them, they will try to manipulate you into doing more and more for them, for nothing.

No matter what the situation, all they do is whine, bitch and complain.

They’re deadbeats. They don’t want to pay you until the job is complete. Then, they still don’t want to pay you. They’ll always claim you didn’t do what they wanted you to do, even though you did. However, there is a way to overcome this. Don’t give them anything until you get your money. Otherwise, you’re SOL.

They’re cowards. Out of courtesy to them, I’m not referring to them as chicken shit. But I won’t deny this. If you confront one for being a horse’s rear end, he will clam up, and not say a word. Then, you’ll never see him again. If this happens, I hope you got your money. Otherwise, you’ll have to sue him to get paid. Consider all of the terrorist attacks, especially 9/11. Were these cowardly acts? I rest my case.

Muslims hate Americans. The other reasons above confirm this. Any Muslim you come into contact with would kill you in a heartbeat if he thought he could get away with it. But that’s not their style. They wouldn’t do this unless they’re in a group and have you out-numbered. Remember, they’re cowards.

Obviously, Donald Trump has had dealings with them. Otherwise, her wouldn’t have said what he did. Don’t judge him harshly. He knows what he’s talking about. People have said that this Country will be ruined if he’s our next President. On the contrary, this country will be ruined if he’s not.

How to respond if someone asks, “Have you ever used the N Word?”


Whether you’ve used the N Word or not is immaterial. There are ways to answer the question “Have you ever used the N Word” in both situations. Before I continue, I can truthfully say that I’ve never used this word. I don’t like the word, nor have I ever liked it.

Situation 1 – You’ve never used the N Word

If this is the case, there’s nothing to worry about. Just answer the question, truthfully, and you’re home free. If the guy who asked the question is a real jerk, he might say, “Oh come one! You know you have.” Just ignore him and move on.

Situation 2 – You have used the N Word

Unless you’re in a setting where you have to give an answer, such as, a court of law or a deposition, simply ignore the person who asks.

Let’s look at the Question (Q) and Answer (A) approach. If you are badgered by someone, such as an attorney, this is how you respond to this question that gets so many people in trouble.

Q  Have you ever used the N Word?

A  Son, you have to be more specific. There are a lot of N Words. Nice is an N Word. Nifty is an N Word. Naughty, Needy, No, New, Near are all N Words. I can’t answer because the question is unclear.

Q  Stop jerking me around. You know what word I’m asking you about. Have you ever used the N Word?

A  No I don’t know what word you’re asking me about. I’m not a mind reader. Unless you ask me a specific question, I can’t give you an answer. I don’t know what the question is, and can’t give you a truthful answer.

Q  You know the word I’m talking about. I’m going to ask you one more time, and you’d better give me an answer. Have you ever used the N Word?

A  I can’t give you an answer and know for sure that I’m telling the truth. I don’t feel comfortable answering a question about something that you are thinking, but not asking. Tell me the word you’re talking about.

No one in his right mind is going to ask you if you’ve ever used the N Word, and say the word he’s talking about.

If he does, IT’S HIS ASS !

Why you shouldn’t get Pissed Off when no one reads your blog

4 ways to be the best blogger


There’s no one to get pissed off at, except for one person – Yourself.

So, you think you’re the greatest blogger

Somewhere, you heard or read that Google likes content.. So, you write content. But you write content just for the sake of content.

You say, “OK Google, I’ve written content. Now get me some damn visitors!

You’re a loser if this is what you think. If you write, “Mary had a Little Lamb“, you automatically think Google owes you visitors to your website. WRONG. Google doesn’t own you a think. If this is what you think, give up blogging right now. You’re a loser.

4 ways to be the best blogger you can possibly be

First, don’t try to be the best blogger. You’re not going to do it, because it can’t be done. You will put too much pressure on yourself. Try to be the best blogger you can possibly be. This, you can do. And when you do this, try to do just a little better.

Grow some balls. What’s wrong with writing about something that’s going to piss people off?

NOTHING! Sometimes, people like to get pissed off. They’ll read your blog, and come back again and again to get pissed off some more. This brightens up their boring lives. If people get pissed off at what you write, just say, “To HELL with them!” This is your blog. Write about what you want to write about. If you’re afraid of getting sued, you’re a bigger P___Y than I thought. You’re expressing your opinion. No one can get sued for expressing an opinion. Just make this very clear. If someone threatens to sue you, laugh at them. Remember, someone saying they’re going to sue you, and actually following through are two different things. People like this are all talk.

Let me briefly tell you what happened to me about a year ago. Remember those late night guru’s who aired thirty minute infomercials, telling you how they made a whole lot or money? I posted an article about three of them who did prison terms. One hung himself in prison. The next morning, one of those guru’s called me and threatened me, saying, “Take my name off your website, or you will hear from my attorney. Also, take ___ _____’s name off your website. Talking about his hanging himself in his jail cell is in bad taste. He has a family.” I responded, “Not a chance. Your name stays on my website, and so does the name of your buddy.” I never heard from him again.

Third, write about something worth writing about. Don’t write about how you’re going to spend Christmas day. With all due respect, no one gives a damn. You don’t have to necessarily write articles that will piss people off. This is just one of many ways to attract attention.

Pick a topic that people are talking about. For example, People are pissed off at Donald Trump because of what he said about not allowing Muslims in the US. If you agree with him, write about it. This will get people’s attention. Use an attention getting headline like one that follows:

  • Why Trump is right about banning Camel Jockeys
  • Donald Trump hates those Muslims as much as I do
  • Why Donald Trump has a good reason to hate Muslims

This will get people’s attention. You may get a lot of emails, but who cares. You don’t know these people anyway. Besides, if you monetize your website, they’ll still buy your product.

Next, write the way you feel. Spark some genuine emotions. Readers will see the passion you have for your topic, and they will be more likely to read your blog.

Finally, NEVER create blog posts for filler material. Have you ever said to yourself, “I don’t know what to write about today, so I think I’ll write about this topic, just to get a blog post on my website.“?

Bad idea. This will hurt your blog more than it will help it. It’s much better to publish three articles that people will love, than to publish thirty shitty articles that people won’t give the time of day.

In summary, if you’re pissed off when no one reads your blog, go back to the source, and the reason. The reason is, you’re a terrible blogger. But you’re about to change this – RIGHT?