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How it feels to go to a Sleep Study


Well I’m on my way to a sleep study.

This is where they’ll strap sensors to me and put a tube up my nose. I have to spend the night in a strange bed, with a camera pointing at me all night to see if I have trouble sleeping . . .

Oh by the […]

3 things that will help you relieve stress – You can pick only 3


What helps you relieve stress? You can pick only 3 . . . Liquor Beer Wine Good Sex Music A Good Body Massage A Good Foot Massage Fighting Eating Eating Peanut Butter Crying Hanging Out Sweet Talking Someone Being Sweet Talked By Someone ???????????????????????????????????????? […]

If you think you need to go on a diet, . . .


If you think you need to go on a diet, think again.

This is how most people think they look after they have been on a diet for just 2 days.

If you are overweight, maybe it’s not so bad


The human body is made up of 60 percent water.

If you think you are overweight, don’t worry.

You’re not really fat.

You’re flooded.

A Classic New Years Resolution that isn’t worth two cents


The classic New Years Resolution is, “I’m going to Quit Smoking.”

This is a New Years Resolution that no one will ever keep.

If this is your New Years Resolution, then obviously you are smoking on December 31. You will probably say to yourself, “Well, I have a little more than half a pack of […]

No more junk food – Doctor’s orders


My Doctor told me to start eating healthy. He specifically said, “No more junk food!”

This was no problem. Immediately, I started eating all of the junk food in the house.

After about 3 days, the junk food was gone.

No longer a problem. The temptation is gone. I ate it.


Why putting on a BAND-AID is such a pain in the ass


Have you ever tried to put on a BAND-AID with one hand?

It seems like every time I need to use a BAND-AID to stop bleeding, it’s always on a part of my body that’s inconvenient.

You need two hands to put on a BAND-AID. It never fails. Every time, I need to put one […]

Why it is not safe to go to a Doctor who is about to retire


An old doctor about to retire won’t fool with you

I’ve been to two doctors in my life who were within 6 months of retiring. The first doctor was a dentist. The second was a dermatologist.

With the dermatologist, it wasn’t so bad. All I needed was a minor treatment for a skin rash. He […]

Why is Harakiri something that family members are proud of?


The ritual of Harakiri

Harakiri is a ritual suicide with a sword, formerly practice by the people in Japan.

Two years ago, I visited Japan. I stayed with some friends. As they were showing me around their house, I noticed that there was a sword hanging on the wall.

I asked, “What’s the significance […]

How to tell someone you care about, ‘You are too fat’


If the fat person is a casual friend

“I wouldn’t exactly say you’re fat. It’s more like thick. I’m not going to lie to you. But I do think you look good and carry yourself very well.”

The response you’ll get is, “Piss on you.”

If the fat person is your lover

“I don’t mind […]