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Hey Guys, 8 reasons you’d buy sanitary napkins for your girlfriend?

1. Minimize the bitch-i-ness

sanitary-napkins

When your girlfriend asks you to pick up some sanitary napkins at the store for her, you know what’s getting ready to happen. She’s about to enter that time of the month when she is going to be a real bitch. You don’t want to make her mad. If you make her mad now, and she becomes a bitch before she’s supposed to, you’re about to get a double dose of hell on earth.

2. Make every minute count

sanitary-napkins

When she asks to to get sanitary napkins for her, chances are she’ll need them in the very near future. Otherwise, she’d have some on hand for an emergency. Do what she wants. Make her happy. Say, “Yes my darling, I’d love to.” Then, you will have a golden opportunity to get a little extra loving before she is classified as “Off Limits”.

3. Compare them to other gross items you buy for her

sanitary-napkins

If your girlfriend asks you to pick up a box of Kleenex to blow her nose, or a roll of toilet paper to wipe her ass, you’d do it without thinking about it. Why should buying her sanitary napkins be any different?

4. Think of what she does for you

sanitary-napkins

If you and your girlfriend live together, you both have laundry. Most likely, both of you do the laundry at some point. When she does the laundry, she has to load your dirty underwear into the washer and see your shit stains. I’d rather buy her Kotex any day than look at shit stains.

5. Life is good for you

sanitary-napkins

There’s no shame in buying your girlfriend a box of sanitary napkins. In fact, it’s a very good sign. It means you’re getting laid, but probably not tonight.

6. Think of other stressful buying situations

sanitary-napkins

Do you remember the time when you were not quite 21? How many times did you go to the store to get a 6 pack of beer, praying that you would not be asked for your ID? Perhaps you went to the store with a fake ID. How could buying sanitary napkins be more stressful than this?

7. Use it to your advantage

sanitary-napkins

The next time you go to the store to buy sanitary napkins for your girlfriend, ask the prettiest girl working there to help you. She’ll love you. Who knows? While your girlfriend is “Off Limits”, there may be someone else in the picture who is ready, willing and able. Of course, if you’re married, don’t do this. Merjeo does not condone infidelity.

8. Think of other things you’d buy for her

sanitary-napkins

You’d have no reservations about buying her a beautiful, sexy negligee for a romantic evening. Why should you frown at buying her sanitary napkins? They both have to do with the crown jewel.

Which picture is real, and which is the fake?

This picture was supposedly taken from the Space Shuttle, about 25 years ago.
earth-space-shuttle

This picture was was captured from Google Earth, about 25 minutes ago.

earth-space-shuttle
Which picture is real, and which is the fake?


 

There is only one reason you’d want to make a will

willThe only reason you would want to make a Last Will and Testament is simple. It only has to do with C Y A.

This means:

Cover Your Ass-ets.

 

Top 17 funny questions that get people pissed off at each other

top 17 funny questionsAre zippers better than velcro?

Why are the buttons on men’s shirts on the right, but on women’s blouses, on the left?

Do parents spank their kids enough?

Should the legal drinking age be lowered to 18?

If croutons are stale bread, why are they stored in cellophane?

Does the hot dog qualify as a sandwich?

Why do people press harder on a remote control when they know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee for insufficient funds when they know there is not enough money in the account?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

When people look for something they’ve lost, why do they look in pockets of clothes they haven’t worn in years?

Should the Pope start wearing a different style hat?

Could Sarah Palin whip President Obama in a street fight?

Should Medicaid cover breast implants?

Are sagging pants genuinely fashionable attire?

And the number one question is: Could you survive for 30 days without your smart phone?

Teach a man how to fish and you’ve created a monster

Teach a Man How to FishTeach a Man How to Fish – Very common when people ask others for help

The idea is simple. The person who is giving someone help and guidance could just give him a fish. The problem is, he will eat the fish, and come back for more.

Don’t just give him a fish. Show him how to get his own fish, and he’ll never mess with you again. Otherwise, you’ll never get rid of him.

Adaptions to the expression, Teach a Man How to Fish

  • Teach a man how to hold a gun, and he will rob a bank.
  • Teach a man how to run a bank, and he will rob the World.
  • Teach a man how to shoot a gun, and he will kill someone.
  • Teach a man how to seduce a woman, and he will take your wife.
  • Teach a man about sex, and he will screw you royally.

 

 

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure – Be careful who you say this to

One mans trash another mans treasureTwo situations when you would never use this expression

  • Never say this to your adopted son
  • Never say this to the woman you married

Two more situations when you can use this expression

  • When you’re about to get a divorce
  • If you own a business, when you’re about to fire someone

If you go skydiving, what happens when your parachute doesn’t open?

parachuteIf you go sky diving, and your parachute does not open. don’t worry. It’s not the fall that’s going to kill you.

It’s going to be the impact when you hit the ground.

Beautiful woman in a bikini

bikiniMost of the time, when a beautiful woman wears a bikini, men usually show her some respect.

They are very respectful and very polite. They only look at the covered parts.

Talking about dead people – Why is this so wrong?

talking about dead peopleTalking about dead people is like singing at the table. About a hundred years ago, someone made up this rule. Why should we suffer because some jerk screwed it up for everyone?

If a guy was bad while he was living, is he suddenly good because he is dead?

Ted Bundy was a serial killer. rapist, pedophile and necrophilia (the act of enjoying the company of a dead corpse or probably doing sick things to it) ever since he first realized his penis could get erect. He killed more than 36 women, that are at least accounted for. He was fried in 1989.

Oh, sorry! I can’t talk about him because he’s dead.

Bernie Madoff is an American fraudster and a former stockbroke and investment adviser. He swindled at least 72 people out of their life savings. Presently, he’s serving a 150 year prison term.

OK! I can talk about him because he’s not dead.

Why didn’t the big cats drive humans to extinction?

humansHumans vs the Big Cats

Humans are dangerous animals. When they go up against the big cats, they think of it as going against another human who is unarmed. Most people are never unarmed.

 

Humans are very good at creating weapons to defend themselves – and to kill. They’re also found in groups. A big cat going against a group of people is suicide. Occasionally, one might catch a guy off guard, but not often.

Finally, humans and the big cats kill for different reason. The big cats kill because they are hungry or threatened. People kill for fun.

If the U S is so advanced, why are there still wooden houses

wooden housesIn the days of the Old West, wooden houses were the only houses, assuming the old western movies are accurate.

Europe had wooden houses back in the middle ages. They don’t have them anymore.

Why do the people in the United States think we’re so advanced, while many people still live in wooden houses? Are we going backwards.

By the way, I’m building a new house, and guess what it’s going to be. It’s going to be a log cabin. According to this, I’m behind the times.