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The reason I never take a bath
I never take a bath, but I am one of the cleanest people in the world.
Here's why.
I prefer taking a shower over a bath.
There's a reason. And it's a very good reason. I don't like to wash my face in the same water that my ass is in.
Sometimes you might have to sneeze at the most inopportune time
If you've ever chewed tobacco or dipped snuff, have you ever had to sneeze right before you have to spit? Once the urge to sneeze comes on you, it is absolutely impossible to spit.
As a result of this unfortunate timing, you are forced to sneeze with your mouth closed. Otherwise, tobacco juice will go all over the place. And when you do sneeze, you will feel like your nose is about to become detached from your head.
Not a good feeling.
Why should we give departed hero's a moment of silence?
Is a moment of silence the correct way to honor a departed hero?
I don't think so.
It would be more appropriate to honor him with a loud cheer and a standing ovation.
Hell, the guy's dead. Why do people honor him with silence. They don't have to worry about disturbing him. The guy's not going to wake up.
How to stop procrastinating
If you don't try to stop procrastinating, this means you're procrastinating.
Here's the best way to stop procrastinating
Just keep telling yourself that you hate not getting something done more that you hate doing it.
For example, I hate cleaning the toilet, but I hate the smell of a dirty toilet much worse.
This simple method works like a charm.
What do you think about wigs?
Email from Merjeo reader
Dear Merjeo,
What do you think about wigs?
Response from Merjeo
I didn't know they were active anymore. They were active in the middle of the 19th century, and were the rivals to the Democrats.
The 6th President, John Quincy Adams became a Wig congressman later in his career.
Is this what you're referring to? Sorry, just kidding. I couldn't resist. As for the wigs women put on their heads, I kind of like them occasionally. They break the monotony.
Email received from a Merjeo reader.
The strangest thing I have ever seen someone do with a pet
Dear Merjeo,
I love my pet, but there are some things I will not do with them.
I work in the emergency room at the hospital. Sometimes, I see things that are unbelieveable. But what I just saw gives a new meaning to the word, unbelieveable.
A few days ago, the ambulance brought a woman in who had a German Shepherd stuck in her twat. And the funny part was, she is from the richest section of the city where I live. Her husband is a multi-millionaire.
The doctor who treated her had to kill the dog. He should have killed the woman.
Email received from a Merjeo reader.
The best way to get over a break-up?
Get your favorite CD or mp3 files.
Get a 12 pack.
Put on your headphones.
Turn the music up full blast and get as drunk as a skunk.
What do you do when your brain is not working so good and you want to make it work faster?
Do nothing. Put the phone away, turn off the TV and just sit and relax. Get bored.
Good! This re-programs the brain, and you will come up with more creative ideas than you ever thought possible.
Do you believe this?
Is this Bull Shit or Not? You Decide!
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