Merjeo by Charlie

Funny, Wild, Crazy Stories

Why you should stay away from Fast Food Restaurants

fast food restaurants

 

The food at the fast food restaurants tastes good. But the better something tastes, the worse it is for your health.

This is what I look time every time I eat a McDonald’s Happy Meal.

The Creepy Fact about a Thrift Store

thrift-store

 

This Creepy painting was seen on the wall in a thrift store. It’s worth about $500 on Ebay.

But that’s not what is creepy about thrift stores. Today, they’re selling things for $300 that they once sold for $1.50. Now that’s creepy. Gone are the good old bargain days.

The life story of the Bored Bear

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s more to life than eating honey, chasing people who don’t mind their own business, stealing picnic baskets and sleeping all damn winter!”
bored-bear

Damn this! I’m just spinning my wheels

spinning-wheels

 

 

“I can’t seem to find the Over Baked Lays . . .”

Charlie Brown says . . . .

charlie-brown

 
 
 
 

“I thought being in love was supposed to make you happy…”

When you see a woman, what do you look at first?

woman

 

The first thing a man looks at in a woman is her heart.

The fact that her tits are in front of her heart is

NOT THE MAN’S FAULT.

Teachers – ‘Please’ – have not changed. One thing has changed

teachers-please

Do you remember when you were in grade school? You probably had to be polite to your teacher. If you asked her for something, you had to say the word, Please. If you didn’t, you would not get what you asked for, and you would be punished.

Things are a little different today. The magic word, Please, is still the same today as it was when you were younger.

The only thing that has changed is WHAT YOU WANT.

The aftermath of making love

making-love

 

This is what a girl looks like when her partner’s penis is still hard after they’ve just finished making love.

How’s this for a motorcycle mechanic?

mechanic

 

If this were my mechanic, . . .

My Bike would be in the shop all the time.

Big Stupid Question of the Day

One of my Facebook friends has a ‘Post Category’ which he calls, “BSQotD” or “Big Stupid Question of the Day”. In this category, which he posts 3 or 4 times a week, he asks a question that no one would think of asking themselves. He always gets over 100 comments. It’s a really cool post, and one I look forward to seeing.

A few days ago, the question was, “Name something you’ve done that you’re reasonably sure no other listener has done.” Here’s the post, and my comment:

big-stupid-question-of-the-day

Within 30 minutes, I got 10 Facebook Friend Requests from some of the most beautiful women I’ve seen on Facebook.

The best sex you can possibly have !!!

best-sex

Have you ever wondered what is the ultimate, best sex? It’s very simple.

The best sex you can possibly have is usually . . .

with the person you shouldn’t be screwing in the first place.

The next best thing to drinking your own piss

drinking-piss

 

“When I have a hard time drinking my own piss, . . .

Samuel Adams Beer with Helium is the next best thing.”

Facts about women who drink too much wine

women-who-drink-wine

 

Fact No. 1: When a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases her chances of having a stroke.

Fact No. 2: If you leave her alone and let her finish the bottle, she’ll probably suck it as well.

What it’s like to take a Selfie during Sex

selfie-during-sex

 

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your partner takes a selfie during sex?

“You were giving me oral sex, and you were tied up. Then, you saw the flash.”

“I can’t wait to see what your next move will be!”

“Back to the Future” screenwriter – A real genius

Of the 3 Back to the Future movies, the second movie, “Back to the Future II” was my favorite. This movie was released in 1989.

If you saw this movie, you may recall that Marty McFly, played by Michael J. Fox, and Doc, portrayed by Christopher Lloyd, traveled from 1985 to the future year (at the time) 2015. Here is the reading from dashboard of the time machine.

When they arrived in this year, things were a lot different than they were in the real 2015. However, one thing was almost 100 percent accurate.

back-to-the-future

In the year Back to the Future II was released, it was wishful thinking that the Chicago Cubs would ever win another World Series. The screenwriter for the series, Bob Gale, knew something different. What’s so amazing is, he almost hit it right on the nose. He miscalculated by one year. The Cubs won the World series in 2016.

Equally amazing is that the Major League Baseball team, the Florida Marlins, began play in 1993. In 2012, they became the Miami Marlins.

In 1989, when the movie came out, there was speculation that Miami would have a baseball team in the near future. The chances of this happening in 1989 were much greater than the Cubs winning the World Series.

Bob Gale is the most brilliant screenwriter. He had to know something about the future to create these 3 classic movies. The movies are very entertaining. Sometimes, I wonder if they were prophecy.

back-to-the-future

How many times does Bill Withers sing ‘I KNOW’ in “Ain’t No Sunshine” ?

In his great 1971 hit record, “Ain’t No Sunshine“, Bill Withers sings ‘I Know‘ repeatedly. Have you ever counted the number of times he sings this short phrase? This video will count it for you. Enjoy this amazing hit.

Hey Guys, 8 reasons you’d buy sanitary napkins for your girlfriend?

1. Minimize the bitch-i-ness

sanitary-napkins

When your girlfriend asks you to pick up some sanitary napkins at the store for her, you know what’s getting ready to happen. She’s about to enter that time of the month when she is going to be a real bitch. You don’t want to make her mad. If you make her mad now, and she becomes a bitch before she’s supposed to, you’re about to get a double dose of hell on earth.

2. Make every minute count

sanitary-napkins

When she asks to to get sanitary napkins for her, chances are she’ll need them in the very near future. Otherwise, she’d have some on hand for an emergency. Do what she wants. Make her happy. Say, “Yes my darling, I’d love to.” Then, you will have a golden opportunity to get a little extra loving before she is classified as “Off Limits”.

3. Compare them to other gross items you buy for her

sanitary-napkins

If your girlfriend asks you to pick up a box of Kleenex to blow her nose, or a roll of toilet paper to wipe her ass, you’d do it without thinking about it. Why should buying her sanitary napkins be any different?

4. Think of what she does for you

sanitary-napkins

If you and your girlfriend live together, you both have laundry. Most likely, both of you do the laundry at some point. When she does the laundry, she has to load your dirty underwear into the washer and see your shit stains. I’d rather buy her Kotex any day than look at shit stains.

5. Life is good for you

sanitary-napkins

There’s no shame in buying your girlfriend a box of sanitary napkins. In fact, it’s a very good sign. It means you’re getting laid, but probably not tonight.

6. Think of other stressful buying situations

sanitary-napkins

Do you remember the time when you were not quite 21? How many times did you go to the store to get a 6 pack of beer, praying that you would not be asked for your ID? Perhaps you went to the store with a fake ID. How could buying sanitary napkins be more stressful than this?

7. Use it to your advantage

sanitary-napkins

The next time you go to the store to buy sanitary napkins for your girlfriend, ask the prettiest girl working there to help you. She’ll love you. Who knows? While your girlfriend is “Off Limits”, there may be someone else in the picture who is ready, willing and able. Of course, if you’re married, don’t do this. Merjeo does not condone infidelity.

8. Think of other things you’d buy for her

sanitary-napkins

You’d have no reservations about buying her a beautiful, sexy negligee for a romantic evening. Why should you frown at buying her sanitary napkins? They both have to do with the crown jewel.

How to Make Money without Working

Make Money: I watched this video on YouTube a few minutes ago and just had to share it. It’s the most hilarious video I’ve ever seen.

I have to hand it to this guy. He’s got his shit together. I have to say that this is the most entertaining video I’ve ever watched on YouTube. Here’s the comment I wrote:

make-money

By the way, my recommendation is, DON”T TRY THIS. Even if it works, you may not be around to spend the money. Inmates are not allowed to have cash.

A Countdown Of The 10 Most Outrageous Athlete Outfits

oregon-ducksAthletes are public people. They dress in their appropriate attire during their sport, whether it is football, baseball or basketball.

But some athletes really know how to dress out of the arena. Over the years, my two favorite athletes, away from the arena, are Walt “Clyde” Frazier and the late Wilt Chamberlain. I would not call their attire outrageous. Cool is a better description. These are the two coolest guys in the history of sports. They’re also two of my favorite athletes.

Now if you want to talk outrageous, you can find it in the arena. The Oregon Ducks football team has to be the most outrageous outfits ( or, uniforms ??) ever.

Source: BuzzFeed

How To Be a Sugar Baby

In thе wоrld оf dаtіng, there are many dіffеrеnt tastes for mаnу different оссаѕіоnѕ.

  • Sоmе people аrе attracted to rаіl thіn реrѕоnѕ.
  • Othеrѕ like a little fullеr figure.
  • Sоmе lоvе muѕсlеѕ.
  • Othеrѕ love honesty.
  • Still others рrеfеr ѕtаbіlіtу over anything else.

Whatever уоu lооk fоr in a mate іѕ bеtwееn уоu аnd your own реrѕоnаl dating соdе.

But when іt соmеѕ tо bеіng a sugar baby, thеrе аrе some рrасtісеѕ that уоu wіll wаnt tо make a раrt оf your everyday lіfе. Aftеr аll, уоu can’t be sure that you and уоur potential “ѕugаr daddy” wіll want оr еxресt thе ѕаmе thіngѕ out of еасh оthеr, so compatibility іѕ оf thе utmоѕt importance.

But іf уоu really want tо lеаrn hоw tо become a “ѕugаr baby,” оr if you’re a woman lооkіng for a rich man tо tаkе care оf your fіnаnсіаl аnd еmоtіоnаl needs, thеn you need to stick tо the following:

Sugar Daddy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking for some good Sugar Daddy Websites? Click here.

Submitted by Sugar Daddy. We want to thank him for this great content.

sugar-daddy 2017 - 1

Which picture is real, and which is the fake?

This picture was supposedly taken from the Space Shuttle, about 25 years ago.
earth-space-shuttle

This picture was was captured from Google Earth, about 25 minutes ago.

earth-space-shuttle
Which picture is real, and which is the fake?


 

A Piece of Bread won’t get you into Heaven

Sometimes I believe the Knights of Columbus has their nose up the Catholic Church’s rear end

catholic-knights-of-columbusEmail from Merjeo reader:

I’ve been a Catholic for most of my life. About 5 years ago, I entered the Seminary and studied to be a priest.

Immediately, the Knights of Columbus in a small town in Alabama contacted me and offered me a scholarship. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t want the responsibility. The spokesperson kept insisting, and I finally asked, “Why are you doing this?” His answer was, “It’s our duty to do our part in helping young men become priests.” I knew he wasn’t going to leave me alone, so I accepted the scholarship. I was to receive $1 thousand each year, for 5 years.

Studying to be a priest is not like going to college to be a lawyer, engineer, accountant, doctor, etc. If the Catholic seminary thinks a man is not priesthood material, they will not let him continue. In other words, they will kick him out in a nice way. To the Catholic Church, this is an act of love. Bull Shit!

This happened to me at the end of my third year. I accepted it and went on with my life. But priests like to gossip. Somehow, word got back to the Knights of Columbus. They wanted the money back that they had given me, which was $3 thousand. Eventually, I paid the money back. In the meantime, I was labeled a con artist by the K C, and my family as conspirators. For this reason, I never go to that town because I feel like I can’t show my face there. It wasn’t my decision to get out. It was the decision of the Catholic Church.

I tried to put this behind me and go on, but something happened before Easter to stir this up again. I’m no longer an active Catholic. I don’t go to mass any more. But on Holy Thursday, I look forward to making a holy hour after mass around 11 PM, and spending quality time with the Lord to privately celebrate his Last Supper. This is customary. There are usually a few people in the Church, and it’s very peaceful.

But this year was a disaster. When I arrived at the Church, about 11 PM, the entire room was guarded by the infamous members of the Knights of Columbus, all decked out in their cute little tuxedos. As I walked towards the front of the Church to get closer to the altar, one of the members put his hand on my shoulder and said, “That’s far enough. You can pray just as good from the back of the Church.”

I felt like I was in a communist confine, and they were watching me. All I wanted to do was mind my own business and make a holy hour. This was once something that was special to me, and I looked forward to every year, and now they have fucked it up.

I’ve tried to give the Catholic Church the benefit of the doubt. But every time, the Knights of Columbus keep showing up like a bad penny. I believe that the Knights of Columbus has their nose up the Catholic Church’s ass. Should I just forget the Catholic Church, and move on?


catholic-creationResponse from Merjeo:

This is an incredible story. But don’t let others define who you are.

You’re not alone. I’ve talked to hundreds of people over the years who have had their differences with the Catholic Church. There have been others I’ve talked to who have hinted that the Knights of Columbus may be Satan worshipers. But I don’t know if that’s true or not. It’s just what I’ve heard.

Do you feel guilty? You shouldn’t because you did the right thing. You paid the money back, even though you didn’t have to. Make peace with yourself. As for the ones who damaged your character, let it go. They will answer for it.

What really baffles me is how power can influence people and organizations in a negative way. So many people think that because they have such powerful friends, such as the Catholic Church, this automatically gives them a hotline to heaven. This is not true. One God is better than one million Catholic Church’s or Knights of Columbus. You only have to please the One God.

Finally, don’t be discouraged about your holy hour that you used to look forward to. You can make a holy hour any day of the year besides Holy Thursday. It doesn’t have to be in a Church. Go out in the middle of the forest and make a holy hour. It will be a much better one that you’d make in any Catholic Church. Just look around at the trees, the sky, and the rest of nature. Who do you think created all of that. It certainly didn’t come out of a box of Cracker Jacks. Surround yourself with the real things that God created, instead of a piece of bread that some priest waved his hands over, and decided it was the body of Jesus Christ.

Fly the UNFRIENDLY Skies of United

If you think what United Airlines did was bad, …

United Air Lines

It could have been worse

United Air Lines

Fly the UNFRIENDLY Skies of UNITED