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Top 17 funny questions that get people pissed off at each other

top 17 funny questionsAre zippers better than velcro?

Why are the buttons on men’s shirts on the right, but on women’s blouses, on the left?

Do parents spank their kids enough?

Should the legal drinking age be lowered to 18?

If croutons are stale bread, why are they stored in cellophane?

Does the hot dog qualify as a sandwich?

Why do people press harder on a remote control when they know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee for insufficient funds when they know there is not enough money in the account?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

When people look for something they’ve lost, why do they look in pockets of clothes they haven’t worn in years?

Should the Pope start wearing a different style hat?

Could Sarah Palin whip President Obama in a street fight?

Should Medicaid cover breast implants?

Are sagging pants genuinely fashionable attire?

And the number one question is: Could you survive for 30 days without your smart phone?

Teach a man how to fish and you’ve created a monster

Teach a Man How to FishTeach a Man How to Fish – Very common when people ask others for help

The idea is simple. The person who is giving someone help and guidance could just give him a fish. The problem is, he will eat the fish, and come back for more.

Don’t just give him a fish. Show him how to get his own fish, and he’ll never mess with you again. Otherwise, you’ll never get rid of him.

Adaptions to the expression, Teach a Man How to Fish

  • Teach a man how to hold a gun, and he will rob a bank.
  • Teach a man how to run a bank, and he will rob the World.
  • Teach a man how to shoot a gun, and he will kill someone.
  • Teach a man how to seduce a woman, and he will take your wife.
  • Teach a man about sex, and he will screw you royally.

 

 

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure – Be careful who you say this to

One mans trash another mans treasureTwo situations when you would never use this expression

  • Never say this to your adopted son
  • Never say this to the woman you married

Two more situations when you can use this expression

  • When you’re about to get a divorce
  • If you own a business, when you’re about to fire someone

If you go skydiving, what happens when your parachute doesn’t open?

parachuteIf you go sky diving, and your parachute does not open. don’t worry. It’s not the fall that’s going to kill you.

It’s going to be the impact when you hit the ground.

Beautiful woman in a bikini

bikiniMost of the time, when a beautiful woman wears a bikini, men usually show her some respect.

They are very respectful and very polite. They only look at the covered parts.

Talking about dead people – Why is this so wrong?

talking about dead peopleTalking about dead people is like singing at the table. About a hundred years ago, someone made up this rule. Why should we suffer because some jerk screwed it up for everyone?

If a guy was bad while he was living, is he suddenly good because he is dead?

Ted Bundy was a serial killer. rapist, pedophile and necrophilia (the act of enjoying the company of a dead corpse or probably doing sick things to it) ever since he first realized his penis could get erect. He killed more than 36 women, that are at least accounted for. He was fried in 1989.

Oh, sorry! I can’t talk about him because he’s dead.

Bernie Madoff is an American fraudster and a former stockbroke and investment adviser. He swindled at least 72 people out of their life savings. Presently, he’s serving a 150 year prison term.

OK! I can talk about him because he’s not dead.

Why didn’t the big cats drive humans to extinction?

humansHumans vs the Big Cats

Humans are dangerous animals. When they go up against the big cats, they think of it as going against another human who is unarmed. Most people are never unarmed.

 

Humans are very good at creating weapons to defend themselves – and to kill. They’re also found in groups. A big cat going against a group of people is suicide. Occasionally, one might catch a guy off guard, but not often.

Finally, humans and the big cats kill for different reason. The big cats kill because they are hungry or threatened. People kill for fun.

If the U S is so advanced, why are there still wooden houses

wooden housesIn the days of the Old West, wooden houses were the only houses, assuming the old western movies are accurate.

Europe had wooden houses back in the middle ages. They don’t have them anymore.

Why do the people in the United States think we’re so advanced, while many people still live in wooden houses? Are we going backwards.

By the way, I’m building a new house, and guess what it’s going to be. It’s going to be a log cabin. According to this, I’m behind the times.

Strange, but people like to say, “Go back where you came from”

go back where you came fromLike the pot calling the kettle black

Not many people in America has the right to tell someone “Go back where you came from.

Almost everyone came from somewhere. The only ones who didn’t come from somewhere else are the Indians. They are the only ones who have to right to say this.

Have you ever heard an Indian tell someone,

“Go back where you came from!”

Is it possible to get something for nothing? Of course it is

something for nothingWhere did all this stuff come from? Osmosis?

When the world first started, there was:

  • No food
  • No money
  • No building materials
  • No plans
  • No designs
  • No dreams
  • No luck

There was nothing. So, why is their prosperity today?

The cave man pulled it out of his ass.

Why people use a middle initial instead of a middle name

middle initialSome middle initials are old or weird names?

I know someone whose middle name is Dorothy. She’s only 18. Her parents are either Wizard of Oz fanatics or insane.

I also knew someone whose middle name was Stanley. He got his ass kicked at school every day. With an old, grandfather type name like that, he’s just asking for it.

My family doctor’s middle name is Patrick. How many people do you know who are addressed as Patrick?

I once knew someone whose firsts name was Dominic. His middle name was Joe, so that’s cool. To simplify the situation, he just identified himself as D.J. That’s even more cool. This guy had it together.

Finally, there’s O.J. Simpson. Remember him? O.J. stands for Orenthal James. Holy shit.

Now you know why people use a middle initial instead of a middle name.