If this is so simple, then why do so many people in the media screw it up? The next time you see an interview on TV, watch closely. The interviewer will ask the question, and then try to answer the damn thing before the person asked is given the chance.
I never got there. Every dream I've had about dying, I've always work up before I was killed.
First: Elvis Presley style - Die on the toilet while taking a dump.
Second: Having a heart attack after masturbating. The person who finds you dead discovers semen stains all over your clothes, while the porn site algorithm kept going and now it's on gay poop videos.
More people are killed by vending machines than by sharks per year. On the other hand, more sharks are killed by people than by vending machines per year.
When you break into someone's house, don't steal anything. Instead, rearrange everything in the house. Rearrange everything in the drawers, on the shelves, and especially, the furniture. When the family discovers it, they won't know what to do.
I don't want to give my name because of the nature of my story. I work in the hospital emergency room. Yesterday, a very attractive young woman from the richest and most exclusive part of town was brought it. Unfortunately, she was not alone. There was a German Shepherd stuck inside of her. Working at the ER, you would think, should make me not be surprised at what I see. But I have to say, now I've seen everything. At least the dog had good taste.
When I was a kid, between the ages of 6 and 13, my parents would tell me something like, "Even though you didn't do it on purpose it was still caused by you and your actions and you still have to deal with the consequences. You have to say you're sorry." I refuse to say this to my kid because I will not fuck him up.
I don’t know why, but I cannot ever seem to agree with my self. I constantly have a hard time with anything I do simply because I end up finding points against any internal conflict I find my self in. Does anyone have this struggle?
Pads were first invented during the very first war, to cover bullet wounds on the battlefield. Later, some of the nurses had a really bright idea. Now they’re used exclusively for female hygiene.
My brother's wife thinks her house is haunted so my brother and I plugged a wireless mouse into her computer. He's been messing with her since. He's been telling her things like, “Honey I think the ghost has been watching us on our computer”. It has blown her mind.