Enroll in the class. Take a picture of the mid-term exam with your smartphone, and then, sell it to the people taking the course next semester.
First: Trying to get on a bus while the people on it are trying to get off. Second: Looking over someone's shoulder when they are using the phone. What in the fuck are you going to see? Third: Looking for something, and find yourself looking in the same place several times. Do you think tiny elves are going to put it there when you are not looking?
If you are a woman, and another woman asks you if she can borrow a tampon, you give it to her, whether or not she is your worst enemy.
What is really funny is, when you are an adult, is finding out Santa Claus is real, and you are it Bud.
"You have a Blessed Day, . . . and, . . . Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
It was on my 13th birthday. My dad loved kids, but hated teenagers. He thought everyone from the age of 13 to 19 should be put in jail. As far as he was concerned, the day I turned 13, my ass was mud.
Paint the top of every car, house building and any other structure white. This way, it can reflect the sun like the melting ice caps do, to reverse global warming.
Pro football players practice during the week, but they play on Sunday. Doctors and lawyers don't play. They practice all the time. If I'm sick, and my life depends on it, I don't want to go to a doctor who's practicing. Hell, I want to go to a doctor whose playing. It's my ass that is on the line?
The words, Racist, sexist, toxic, Nazi and offended, are so overused they lost absolutely all their meanings. There is also "literally" and "actually" which are thrown around all the time in every conversation but don't mean anything. Also let's not forget "I swear", and of course, "shit" and "fuck". And it's funny how everyone now seems to have OCD, ADD and ADHD.
I convinced my younger siblings that they couldn't go into my room because I had a tiger in there. When they got too old to believe the tiger story I had successfully convinced them that my room was haunted.