Merjeo Moments

Best way to cheat on a test in college

Enroll in the class. Take a picture of the mid-term exam with your smartphone, and then, sell it to the people taking the course next semester.

3 asshole behaviors in people that they do not realize are asshole behaviors

First: Trying to get on a bus while the people on it are trying to get off. Second: Looking over someone's shoulder when they are using the phone. What in the fuck are you going to see? Third: Looking for something, and find yourself looking in the same place several times. Do you think tiny elves are going to put it there when you are not looking?

What is the unspoken rule between all women, no matter what?

If you are a woman, and another woman asks you if she can borrow a tampon, you give it to her, whether or not she is your worst enemy.

What is similar to finding out that Santa Claus is not real, but for adults?

What is really funny is, when you are an adult, is finding out Santa Claus is real, and you are it Bud.

A nice way to tell someone to F O

"You have a Blessed Day, . . . and, . . . Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

The day I first realized that being an adult sucks

It was on my 13th birthday. My dad loved kids, but hated teenagers. He thought everyone from the age of 13 to 19 should be put in jail. As far as he was concerned, the day I turned 13, my ass was mud.

How to solve the global warming problem

Paint the top of every car, house building and any other structure white. This way, it can reflect the sun like the melting ice caps do, to reverse global warming.

Sometimes I wonder if Doctors and Lawyers ever get it right

Pro football players practice during the week, but they play on Sunday. Doctors and lawyers don't play. They practice all the time. If I'm sick, and my life depends on it, I don't want to go to a doctor who's practicing. Hell, I want to go to a doctor whose playing. It's my ass that is on the line?

The most overused words in the English language

The words, Racist, sexist, toxic, Nazi and offended, are so overused they lost absolutely all their meanings. There is also "literally" and "actually" which are thrown around all the time in every conversation but don't mean anything. Also let's not forget "I swear", and of course, "shit" and "fuck". And it's funny how everyone now seems to have OCD, ADD and ADHD.

How to keep your siblings from invading your space

I convinced my younger siblings that they couldn't go into my room because I had a tiger in there. When they got too old to believe the tiger story I had successfully convinced them that my room was haunted.