Merjeo by Charlie

Funny, Wild, Crazy Stories

A Piece of Bread won’t get you into Heaven

Sometimes I believe the Knights of Columbus has their nose up the Catholic Church’s rear end

catholic-knights-of-columbusEmail from Merjeo reader:

I’ve been a Catholic for most of my life. About 5 years ago, I entered the Seminary and studied to be a priest.

Immediately, the Knights of Columbus in a small town in Alabama contacted me and offered me a scholarship. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t want the responsibility. The spokesperson kept insisting, and I finally asked, “Why are you doing this?” His answer was, “It’s our duty to do our part in helping young men become priests.” I knew he wasn’t going to leave me alone, so I accepted the scholarship. I was to receive $1 thousand each year, for 5 years.

Studying to be a priest is not like going to college to be a lawyer, engineer, accountant, doctor, etc. If the Catholic seminary thinks a man is not priesthood material, they will not let him continue. In other words, they will kick him out in a nice way. To the Catholic Church, this is an act of love. Bull Shit!

This happened to me at the end of my third year. I accepted it and went on with my life. But priests like to gossip. Somehow, word got back to the Knights of Columbus. They wanted the money back that they had given me, which was $3 thousand. Eventually, I paid the money back. In the meantime, I was labeled a con artist by the K C, and my family as conspirators. For this reason, I never go to that town because I feel like I can’t show my face there. It wasn’t my decision to get out. It was the decision of the Catholic Church.

I tried to put this behind me and go on, but something happened before Easter to stir this up again. I’m no longer an active Catholic. I don’t go to mass any more. But on Holy Thursday, I look forward to making a holy hour after mass around 11 PM, and spending quality time with the Lord to privately celebrate his Last Supper. This is customary. There are usually a few people in the Church, and it’s very peaceful.

But this year was a disaster. When I arrived at the Church, about 11 PM, the entire room was guarded by the infamous members of the Knights of Columbus, all decked out in their cute little tuxedos. As I walked towards the front of the Church to get closer to the altar, one of the members put his hand on my shoulder and said, “That’s far enough. You can pray just as good from the back of the Church.”

I felt like I was in a communist confine, and they were watching me. All I wanted to do was mind my own business and make a holy hour. This was once something that was special to me, and I looked forward to every year, and now they have fucked it up.

I’ve tried to give the Catholic Church the benefit of the doubt. But every time, the Knights of Columbus keep showing up like a bad penny. I believe that the Knights of Columbus has their nose up the Catholic Church’s ass. Should I just forget the Catholic Church, and move on?

catholic-creationResponse from Merjeo:

This is an incredible story. But don’t let others define who you are.

You’re not alone. I’ve talked to hundreds of people over the years who have had their differences with the Catholic Church. There have been others I’ve talked to who have hinted that the Knights of Columbus may be Satan worshipers. But I don’t know if that’s true or not. It’s just what I’ve heard.

Do you feel guilty? You shouldn’t because you did the right thing. You paid the money back, even though you didn’t have to. Make peace with yourself. As for the ones who damaged your character, let it go. They will answer for it.

What really baffles me is how power can influence people and organizations in a negative way. So many people think that because they have such powerful friends, such as the Catholic Church, this automatically gives them a hotline to heaven. This is not true. One God is better than one million Catholic Church’s or Knights of Columbus. You only have to please the One God.

Finally, don’t be discouraged about your holy hour that you used to look forward to. You can make a holy hour any day of the year besides Holy Thursday. It doesn’t have to be in a Church. Go out in the middle of the forest and make a holy hour. It will be a much better one that you’d make in any Catholic Church. Just look around at the trees, the sky, and the rest of nature. Who do you think created all of that. It certainly didn’t come out of a box of Cracker Jacks. Surround yourself with the real things that God created, instead of a piece of bread that some priest waved his hands over, and decided it was the body of Jesus Christ.

Posted under: Religion

Leave a Reply