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It’s better to be a SNITCH than a FOOL

department-of-justiceI received another email from a reader from Homewood, Alabama.

This guy was pissed, but not at me. He was pissed at his former business partner. The guy’s name is Joe, and his partner was Mike. The two were in the business of providing financial services.

About nine years ago, Mike stole some money from one of their client’s trust fund. Joe said to him, “Put it back, or I’ll turn your ass in to the Feds.”

I don’t want to use an expletive here. Occasionally, I’ll use a damn, hell, piss, or sh*t. But the word I could use to describe Mike is one I don’t want to use. But I’ll give you two hints. First, it begins with the letter “P”. Second, it’s something men love, at least, straight men.

Anyway, Mike returned the money, but the damaged had been done. Mike was not only a P. He was also a big mouth. He liked to talk. About three months later, on a Friday afternoon, a Special Agent from the US Treasury Department, and a Homewood detective visited them. They questioned Joe, but didn’t question Mike. The following Monday, Joe and Mike went to see an attorney. Mike asked the attorney the following question, “Can you help him?”

Imagine the nerve of the SOB!

Two months later, they came back, and questioned Mike. According to Joe, Mike looked as if he had just sh*t in his pants.

To make a long story short, in November of that year, Joe and Mike were indicted for theft and fraud. Mike was guilty of the crime, and Joe was guilty because he was Mike’s partner, and didn’t turn him in. The two had to plea guilty because Mike committed the crime, and there was no way they would win in a trial. Besides, a trial would have gotten them each about 10 years in prison. However, the attorney worked out a deal with the Federal prosecutor, whereby, the two would get three years probation. But thanks to Mike, this went to hell in a handbag.

The next two events were, the pre-sentence with the probation officers, and the sentencing. During Mike’s visit with his probation officer, who was a woman, he and his wife said and did something to piss her officer off, so she recommended 15 to 21 months in prison. The prosecutor then approached the two and said, “We need to work out a deal. If you know of any of your clients who have done anything illegal, turn them in. It may get you a lighter sentence from the judge.” Joe asked him, “Why do we need a lighter sentence from the Judge? We had a deal and it was three years probation.” The Federal prosecutor played dumb, which probably wasn’t hard for him to do. Joe wanted no part of this, but Mike jumped at the chance. As a result, he compiled a list of clients, and made up a bunch of garbage and lies about their involvement in illegal activities.

A few days later, the two were sentenced to Federal prison. Joe got eight months. Mike got three years.

Joe, I’m not going to email you back and tell you what I have to say. I know you will read it right here.

“You IDIOT! Why didn’t you turn this P in at the beginning. You’d be off the hook. There’s no shame in being a snitch, unless or course, you’re an inmate. But I suppose you know that now. My Friend, you didn’t go to prison because you did something. You went to prison because you didn’t do something – TURN THIS P IN!”

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