Merjeo by Charlie

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Lifetime Movies are great, but not quite like real life

Lifetime Movies are good movies. However, the older movies on the LifeTime Movie Network are much better than the newer ones.

lifetime-movies

Ashley Jones in “Dead at 17”

6 reasons LifeTime Movies are not like Real Life

• Most, if not all of the things that happen in LifeTime Movies could never happen in real life.

• The movies follow a pattern. Someone who is up to no good comes into the life a person, and / or, a person’s family. Suddenly, bad things start to happen over and over again. Anyone who can’t figure out that the person is up to no good is a moron.

• In most of the LifeTime Movies, the villain prefabricates an affair, usually by the husband of the victim family, that never happened. Right away, the wife believes it, without listening to an explanation, and throws his ass out of the house. Usually, the explanation is, “This is NOT TRUE!”

• All LifeTime Movies have a happy ending. They all end with a potential deadly confrontation between the villain and the victim(s), and the villain is either killed or arrested. Let’s be realistic. In Real Life, there is not always a happy ending.

• After the nightmare is over, the wife apologizes to her husband for not believing him. In real life, the husband would probably say, “Screw you, Bitch! I need someone who has more faith in me!”

• Finally, everyone in the movies either went to Whittendale College, or wanted to go there. I tried Googling Whittendale, and got search results for fictional colleges. I still haven’t found out whether Whittendale exists or not. I don’t think anyone really knows.

Posted under: Entertainment

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