1. Minimize the bitch-i-ness
When your girlfriend asks you to pick up some sanitary napkins at the store for her, you know what’s getting ready to happen. She’s about to enter that time of the month when she is going to be a real bitch. You don’t want to make her mad. If you make her mad now, and she becomes a bitch before she’s supposed to, you’re about to get a double dose of hell on earth.
2. Make every minute count
When she asks to to get sanitary napkins for her, chances are she’ll need them in the very near future. Otherwise, she’d have some on hand for an emergency. Do what she wants. Make her happy. Say, “Yes my darling, I’d love to.” Then, you will have a golden opportunity to get a little extra loving before she is classified as “Off Limits”.
3. Compare them to other gross items you buy for her
If your girlfriend asks you to pick up a box of Kleenex to blow her nose, or a roll of toilet paper to wipe her ass, you’d do it without thinking about it. Why should buying her sanitary napkins be any different?
4. Think of what she does for you
If you and your girlfriend live together, you both have laundry. Most likely, both of you do the laundry at some point. When she does the laundry, she has to load your dirty underwear into the washer and see your shit stains. I’d rather buy her Kotex any day than look at shit stains.
5. Life is good for you
There’s no shame in buying your girlfriend a box of sanitary napkins. In fact, it’s a very good sign. It means you’re getting laid, but probably not tonight.
6. Think of other stressful buying situations
Do you remember the time when you were not quite 21? How many times did you go to the store to get a 6 pack of beer, praying that you would not be asked for your ID? Perhaps you went to the store with a fake ID. How could buying sanitary napkins be more stressful than this?
7. Use it to your advantage
The next time you go to the store to buy sanitary napkins for your girlfriend, ask the prettiest girl working there to help you. She’ll love you. Who knows? While your girlfriend is “Off Limits”, there may be someone else in the picture who is ready, willing and able. Of course, if you’re married, don’t do this. Merjeo does not condone infidelity.
8. Think of other things you’d buy for her
You’d have no reservations about buying her a beautiful, sexy negligee for a romantic evening. Why should you frown at buying her sanitary napkins? They both have to do with the crown jewel.